And now I'm broken.

You can't let those people go, On whom you are totally dependent.

That day when I was sad, you made me smile.

You wiped all my tears, and helped me win the fight.

We have shared the moments I’d never forget …

You helped me gather back, when I broke down

I lost my hope and then to it, I found

It’s glad to find your arms wide open when I turn back …

You have put in all your best

So that I can fly out of my nest

You support me every time I fumble

And whenever nights are cold and dark

No one comes to light the spark

You would hold my hand and wouldn’t let me stumble.

But now I’m broken

I never knew things would turn this way out

Everything suddenly would disappear

But now I’m broken

Broken especially coz you are not around

Everything’s not always what it appears.

And now I’m broken…

I’m broken, into pieces.

I’m broken, and it teases.

I’m broken.

Just broken.

Being Sorry.

It is the result of my deeds I know.
I have forgotten, but you haven’t
At a go.
Promises I make,
Somewhere are erased.
This pain would remain,
I guess till a decade.

How would you believe me after my deeds?
There were promises which I said I’d keep.
My life has worn out
There is nothing I’m left with,
Only your love in my soul, and
Everywhere else underneath.

It is the results of my deed I know.
I have forgotten, but you haven’t
At a go.

Wounds are still there, somewhere deep.
I made promises in heaps.
It’s my mistake, no doubt.
Time is now still
Only your memories in my mind, and
Everywhere else beneath

It is the results of my deed I know.
I have forgotten, but you haven’t
At a go.

(Basically it’s said that To err is human. But I make use of that proverb too often. I make mistakes, intentionally or unintentionally and then say sorry. Someone once said me that being sorry is something serious. I can’t just say sorry and repeat it again. I’m trying hard to change myself.)

The Whispering Woods

Still too dark to wake up for others
Dead silence waiting for dawn.
Lazy flowers, Getting ready to bloom;
None sleeps forever, Sleep ain’t any doom.
It’s too dark to wake up, for dawn and to bloom,
Still some sound evades this thought
The whispers of the woods

This is a tale of a lady. A great lady who died unknown
She had this huge pain, which she hadn’t ever shown
Twelve years back from now this sad moment had come
This wasn’t ever recalled again, not even once by her.
Secret slept silently somewhere low in her soul,
She didn’t think she would ever empty the bowl.

On April the fifteenth she waited for her grand daughter
She felt excited, happy and relaxed to see her after so long.
‘Granny I missed you, we weren’t together all along’
‘There was a promise Mary, and it was very strong.
As you know I was in the prison, for once I had stolen bread
Because you were so hungry and your hunger couldn’t wait’. - She said

Twelve years she had waited for this time to come
Went to the prison for Mary and made caretaker to a nun
All because of the promise to her BFF she had done
‘Dear Rita, The secret has never been told,
I know Mary was a kid just 4 years old.’- She thought

Child Mary while playing had pressed
The trigger of his late Pa’s gun
And as her grand ma died, orphaned Mary was everywhere shunned
But because of her promise to Rita, she raised Mary till now.
‘Mary’s grown up and I need to tell her somehow.
Then what about the promise, the secret, the oath?
But it’s related to Mary, it can’t be left to her unknown.’

‘If I live, I would tell; the day I die, the secret’d be gone.
Switched off the lamp and with the same thought she slept.
On the dawn of the terrified dusk, when the secret had been recalled
Life of Mrs. Skitter after 92 years had its ultimate fall.
She was buried inside, deep down the earth
So did the secret which had so much or no worth


What’s this sound? Which’s breaking the silence near her grave?
No one knows the secret, on her soul which was engraved.
Still there is some sound, and these are the woods.
Woods are whispering the secret
The secret which faded with her vision
Would the whispering woods ever be listened?

I rely on hope so badly.

Eyes open. Wide open. What had happened?
I turned to look out from the window, Sky was dark with a tinge of blue and stars were still looking at me. My blanket was still wet.
'Why is my blanket wet?, Wait! Had I slept crying last night? Uggh!',
Talking to myself I figured out that my head was aching, badly. There is too much to think about.
I whispered 'O My God, Help me.' I stood up, And went straight away to the study. The lights were dim and my brain wasn't functioning like it does. Something attracted me to the study and I went clueless-ly.
'Man! What's that?' Suddenly I felt like I was flushed with light. Light that my eyes couldn't bear ... I used my hand to protect and then rubbed my eyes. When gradually I started landing safe with my brain, Thoughts and everything perfectly fine, I realized that this glowing rectangle was my Computer.
'Oh Mr. MagicBox!' I smiled.
'I didn't shut my PC down last night?' I said.
Strange thoughts started erupting like a Volcano. And suddenly within a friction of a second the whole story came in front of my eyes.
I remember how hard I tried on him; I remember how I compromised my self respect for him. And I remember how I was ignored. I shook my head 'No Pallavi, This is will take you no where' But still my hand couldn't stop ... I reached for something, and suddenly 'Bang!' there was a sound, Sound accompanied by tremendous pain. I had hit my self with the candle stand. And as the blood sprinted out building pace, I could feel the pain ... But this pain was nothing compared to that. I stood up, turned my PC off and went out. I decided to go upstairs. I don’t know what time back did I had a look at the Sun Rise. Whatever, It felt good. The cool breeze made me think of him again. And I felt it so soft on my skin that all my pains vanished with its feathery touch. Like he himself was touching me, consoling saying that
'Its fine, I will be fine, Gimme some time ... Please?'
For a moment I closed my eyes. My lips were pursed, And even my thoughts were. A moment of complete silence, Like I was buried in a deep sea and then I sensed the salty liquid. Salty yet sweet, miraculously.
'What am I doing? Losing hope so early? His friendship and he himself has given me so much strength that I can stand on his way forever, Forever until death doesn’t take over me. And I know he would some day come to know that we are meant to be forever friends.'
With that I smiled, A smile which wasn't meant to be a smile ... And then with all new hope and longings I went downstairs again. Retracing the same track,
Whispering 'Believe me, my intentions are selfless ...

I lie to myself daily. And I believe its not wrong.
Lies are sometimes good
especially when the hopes are so strong.'

Nothing Forever.

"We are friends, And you know what? it's forever."

They were overheard.

" I wouldn't want to talk to you from now. We can't be knowing eachother's whereabouts. We are strangers from now. And you are someone whom I hate the most."

They were overheard again.

And the girl is still at the door, figuring out things and sorting them his way. Hands are clutched to the grills and just one eye with a drop of tear visible from the other side of the room.

Why can't she stop looking? She should not care. Stop indulging in the case now!

The girl never gives up. She still cares. She still cries. And she actually is the soul of the body which being left alone inside.

There were promises and now there are longings.

Now she knows, That what she is left with is Nothing Forever.

Death and the Life

I'm lost in the midst of darkness and light
And where I stand is the difference between death and the life.
My vision has turned weak, No energy inside.
Frustration, Irritation, Illness personified.
What I seek now, Is hope, And a ray of golden light.
Pull me somewhere, To the left or the right.
I'm lost in the midst of darkness and light
And where I stand is the difference between death and the life.


('Pull me somewhere, To the left or the right.' Considering that Death is on the left and Life in the right.)

I wouldn't let you give up.

It was nearing midnight. There was a novel in my hand which was slipping through my brain without leaving the slightest trace of meaning behind. No, It doesn't mean that i don't have brains to understand the tough language of a novel :).

The problem was something else. I was worried. I stood up and decided to go out. Now I was walking through the patches of light & deep darkness created by the streetlights, Thinking 'Why am I so worried? What's taking my mind off everything?'

Then suddenly, my heart responded. He explained me that how 'he' (The Heart) starts working when mind becomes speechless.Then he reminded me about this -

Whenever a drop of tear tries to roll down my cheeks, A hand with feathery touch (Invisible, though that makes no difference) comes and wipes it off.

Whenever my lips fear stretching themselves a voice, Very familier tends to become the reason for my smile. :) And ..

Whenever I'm sad, someone encourages me to overcome my sadness.

And today 'He' -The Someone- is sad ... No more explanation needed. My heart made me realize that why I was sad and worried.

But what do I do? When my 'healer' himself loses all his hopes and gives up? And feels depressed to the core?

Answer- What I do, Is a desire. A secret desire to heal my healer's wounds. I promise (Not to him, But to myself) to put in all my strength and everything else that it takes for you my friend to smile :)

And believe me, Whenever all your connections and sources stop responding to your 'Help calls' I'd be standing there to pull you out of darkness. You wouldn't even need to seek cos I'd be there, awaiting, with my hand raised towards you. Not to point, But to lend it for help.