What the actual fuck?

Tonight, I saw these two batch-mates of mine, giggling and running. Over joyed & screaming 'Attendance tiiiiiiiiiiiiime!' and instantly this question swooped in my mind - In which strange parallel dimension will I start enjoying the 'Attendance' part here at my hostel? This is what I call the height of ‘gheyness’. You gotta line up, stand quietly and put your cell phones on silent mode plus you are not supposed to use them. (Sure, and the class teachers are mad to leave the classes in anger for the same reason, how can ‘Teh Wardens’ expect us to obey?) As if we are your prisoners. Ladies, we won’t run away. If promising would provide us a respite from attending this ritual daily then, well, GawdPraamise!

And Ms. Warden(s), one thing that I really long to tell you is that this isn't a boarding school's dorm. We are in UG courses and major citizens of this country womunn! And if you of all people want to teach us the basic manners then, You, Medaaaam ji, must know, that we don’t wear the same Salwaar for 3 days and that it's not 'shot' it's 'sort' and 'cigarette' and 'secret' are two different things. Very different.

And this other, very awesome lady, wears a oh-so-trendy hair band and thinks dunno what of herself. Lady! You are a fashion disaster and you are not YOUNG. Stop spreading your i-am-this-young suchna on every floor.

I have even seen asslickers here who babysit the third warden’s kids and I tag them SooparChuts. And some seniors in this hostel have no better work to do. For example, the proctors. They take your attendance and they DON'T go. They stay. They stay till they don’t eat every single strand of your brain noodles. They tell you that you didn't wish them when they passed by you for the 30kth time this morning. They tell you that while walking with your boyfriend you were laughing loudly and didn’t notice them (Obviously, mentioning themselves everywhere IS important for them. Veryveryvery important) and they even teach you how to sit in the cafe. As if the four wardens aren't enough. Please guys. Being this uncool is unhealthy. Trust me.

Oh and the attendance time? One hour of full torture. They shout like madwomen. This is how they pass their time, methinks. Poor wardens. Nothing to do all day long. Shouting for no reason might add to their might is it? Too wise a thought, ladies. Great job there. Keep doing it. You ladies might become next ‘Cruella’ in kiddy tales. I’m betting on you.