June 26, 2009

I rely on hope so badly.

Eyes open. Wide open. What had happened?
I turned to look out from the window, Sky was dark with a tinge of blue and stars were still looking at me. My blanket was still wet.
'Why is my blanket wet?, Wait! Had I slept crying last night? Uggh!',
Talking to myself I figured out that my head was aching, badly. There is too much to think about.
I whispered 'O My God, Help me.' I stood up, And went straight away to the study. The lights were dim and my brain wasn't functioning like it does. Something attracted me to the study and I went clueless-ly.
'Man! What's that?' Suddenly I felt like I was flushed with light. Light that my eyes couldn't bear ... I used my hand to protect and then rubbed my eyes. When gradually I started landing safe with my brain, Thoughts and everything perfectly fine, I realized that this glowing rectangle was my Computer.
'Oh Mr. MagicBox!' I smiled.
'I didn't shut my PC down last night?' I said.
Strange thoughts started erupting like a Volcano. And suddenly within a friction of a second the whole story came in front of my eyes.
I remember how hard I tried on him; I remember how I compromised my self respect for him. And I remember how I was ignored. I shook my head 'No Pallavi, This is will take you no where' But still my hand couldn't stop ... I reached for something, and suddenly 'Bang!' there was a sound, Sound accompanied by tremendous pain. I had hit my self with the candle stand. And as the blood sprinted out building pace, I could feel the pain ... But this pain was nothing compared to that. I stood up, turned my PC off and went out. I decided to go upstairs. I don’t know what time back did I had a look at the Sun Rise. Whatever, It felt good. The cool breeze made me think of him again. And I felt it so soft on my skin that all my pains vanished with its feathery touch. Like he himself was touching me, consoling saying that
'Its fine, I will be fine, Gimme some time ... Please?'
For a moment I closed my eyes. My lips were pursed, And even my thoughts were. A moment of complete silence, Like I was buried in a deep sea and then I sensed the salty liquid. Salty yet sweet, miraculously.
'What am I doing? Losing hope so early? His friendship and he himself has given me so much strength that I can stand on his way forever, Forever until death doesn’t take over me. And I know he would some day come to know that we are meant to be forever friends.'
With that I smiled, A smile which wasn't meant to be a smile ... And then with all new hope and longings I went downstairs again. Retracing the same track,
Whispering 'Believe me, my intentions are selfless ...

I lie to myself daily. And I believe its not wrong.
Lies are sometimes good
especially when the hopes are so strong.'

June 22, 2009

Nothing Forever.

"We are friends, And you know what? it's forever."
They were overheard.
" I wouldn't want to talk to you from now. We can't be knowing eachother's whereabouts. We are strangers from now. And you are someone whom I hate the most."
They were overheard again.
And the girl is still at the door, figuring out things and sorting them his way. Hands are clutched to the grills and just one eye with a drop of tear visible from the other side of the room.
Why can't she stop looking? She should not care. Stop indulging in the case now!
The girl never gives up. She still cares. She still cries. And she actually is the soul of the body which being left alone inside.
There were promises and now there are longings.
Now she knows, That what she is left with is Nothing Forever.

June 03, 2009

Death and the Life

I'm lost in the midst of darkness and light
And where I stand is the difference between death and the life.
My vision has turned weak, No energy inside.
Frustration, Irritation, Illness personified.
What I seek now, Is hope, And a ray of golden light.
Pull me somewhere, To the left or the right.
I'm lost in the midst of darkness and light
And where I stand is the difference between death and the life.

('Pull me somewhere, To the left or the right.' Considering that Death is on the left and Life in the right.)